Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I Add To My Resume

It is time for me to admit that my career path has changed.

I once proudly identified myself as a Mother, but it's obvious based on the amount of hours spent doing this one particular activity, that I have officially become a Laundress.

When I graduated from a pricey four-year liberal arts college 20 years ago, I never thought that I would have such an illustrious career ahead of me.

Yes.  I am being sarcastic.

Just look at this mess:

This is my laundry "room."  It's really a large closet, wonderfully situated on the second floor of our house.  The fact that my laundry is close to my family's various clothes closets and dressers makes this Laundress extremely grateful.  I can not say the same for that pile of dirty clothes blocking the entrance.  I have entered this career reluctantly, I want you all to know. 

We don't have any hampers in our house.  We did use hampers in our old house since it was easier to carry dirty clothes down two flights of stairs to the basement when they were contained in some way.  But here in our new house, it seems pointless for the children to take off their clothes, put the dirty items into a hamper, have the resident Laundress (The Laborer Formerly Known As Mother) remove the clothes from the hamper and bring them to the laundry room to be cleaned.  

It's a much better use of everyone's time and energy to just have each person bring their dirty clothes to the laundry room and leave them on the floor.

Which means, of course, that my hallway is never really Guest Ready - unless you are the type of guest who doesn't mind stepping over our underwear.  

I probably do an average of three loads of laundry a day.

I know.  It's a ridiculous amount of laundry, but there are five of us and all five of us exercise / play sport almost daily.  Add exercise wear to jerseys / uniforms, every day outfits, dirty pajamas, towels, sheets, the occasional bathing suit or winter coat... and you get a whole lot of smelly, dirty clothes.  

And it's my lucky job to wash them.

My children do know how to do laundry - the girls in practice and Henry in theory - but when you are going from school to practice and from practice to dinner, homework and bed, there isn't a whole lot of time for large time-block activities like waiting for the wash cycle to finish.  Each summer, when there is more time, I do make the kids at least help with the putting away.  And from time to time on a Saturday, I'll enlist one or more of my off-spring to help me with my drudgery but for the most part, laundry is completed during school hours and the chore is solely mine.

I've learned to make the most of a boring situation.

I fold laundry in my bedroom, where there is both a tv and a radio for entertainment.

While I listen to NPR or watch cheesy home shows, I transform the crazy pile above into the neat stacks below:

I have a system.  Folded, dresser items in one area, hanging closet items in another.

The fact that I have a system is further proof that I am now a Laundry Professional, right?

And where once I might have complained about endlessly changing diapers or moderating toddler arguments, I now complain endlessly about missing socks.

But really, who can blame me?  Just look at our current pile of mate-less socks!!

I'm just throwing out an eye-ball estimate, but that's at least 30 socks with no match!

What kind of working conditions are these?  

I need to find a new line of work.  


Anonymous said...

You write so funny about a not very funny topic! At our house it's just the same. I also "do" 3-5 washes a day. With three boys all playing football (soccer) and (field)hockey several times a week, each also gym at school and swimming at school, it's a lot. Without counting my husband and mine training gear, beds and normal clothing :-). I also fold the laundry in my bedroom with the radio or stupid daytime tv on. Being a mother is hard work! I am so lucky that my kids can bike alone with friends to practise, so I'm luckily not a cab driver ;-). Cathrine

Martha said...

Cathrine - I'm so glad you liked the post. One has to laugh at these things (or else you cry!). You are lucky that you aren't a cab driver, too. I find myself in my car more often than I care to admit.

Guymons said...

I like your red washer and dryer! My washer and dryer are on the back porch, which Scott has made into a laundry room, but this weekend it rained and the chickens and the dog stayed in the laundry room....so I'm on laundry strike right now!!! But, like you, I do a couple of loads a day....therefore, a strike is actually DUMB, I will NEVER catch up now.

And we have a mis matched sock pile. We actually wear them mismatched....well, not Bradley.

I really like your red washer and dryer.

Martha said...

Thanks, Diane! Isn't the red pretty? When we moved to our new house, we left our 10+ year old w/d at our old house (where they no doubt died almost immediately) and I got to pick out new ones for the new house. Red is my favorite color, so naturally, I was drawn to those. I debated getting the front loaders since I hear that they often have issues with mold etc, but they've been great. The biggest luxury in the world (after hiring a personal chef) would be to have TWO washers and TWO dryers! Can you imagine!?!

Guymons said...

Last year I watched friends kids in their house (twice)....she's an anesthesiologist...I'm a yard duty, so you can probably tell who has the nicer house. The two top things I loved about their house---the gourmet kitchen!!!!! And, they had two sets of washers and dryers....REALLY!!! At first I thought, wow, luxury, not necessary....but then yeah, that would be SO AWESOME!!!!

Also, we knew (different) people who had TWO dishwashers in their kitchen...I dont think they ever put their stuff back into their cupboards or something....just loaded into the empty washer...

But the two washer and dryers, with big families or families of athletes....two would help tremendously!!!

Martha said...

We have friends with two dishwashers, but that's only because the people who owned the house before them entertained frequently for work and had lots of dishes to wash! I can't imagine needing two dishwashers, but I agree with you - having two w/d would be soooo nice!

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