Monday, May 26, 2014

An Explanation (Which Will Lead To A Confession)

I didn't write my usual Sunday Blog post yesterday and that is because I didn't want to.

There, I said it.  It's out there.

I might have wanted to write a blog post, had I been enjoying a leisurely Sunday morning  - one which included ample amounts of sleeping in, reading The New York Times and consumption of pastry (or two).  But instead, I found myself waking up at the un-Godly hour of 5:30 so that I could leave my house at 6:30 to bring Josie to games three and four of her Memorial Day Soccer Tournament in New Hampshire.

(photo taken months ago as evident from the noticeable sunshine)

Game Three was scheduled for 8:00am and Game Four was scheduled a miserable three hours and forty minutes later at 12:40pm.  And to add insult to injury, it was freezing cold, gray skied and alternating between mist and actual rain. And to FURTHER add insult to injury, the game that we waited - huddled in the car to avoid the wintery weather and the rain - over three hours to play was a match between the club's U9 A Team and Josie's B team.   Which means that it was basically a practice, only at a field an hour away from our town and one in which we paid hefty tournament fees to participate in.

Games One and Two of this tournament were no better.  It rained steadily the entire time Josie and her team mates were summarily beaten by a team of girls who looked like they ate radio-active vegetables all their lives.  Has anyone seen the Vince Vaughn movie "Dodgeball"?  Well, most of the girls on this team reminded me of Bernice.  I think the final scores were 11 to 0 and 10 to 1.

And so having told you all this information, I'm ready for my big confession and I hope all you sports-mad people will forgive me:  I am completely over sports for this school year.


This former violin-playing, coach potato has reached her maximum limit for sports in one year - and that includes sport matches on tv.

I'm done with sitting on frigid, wet playing fields, I'm tired of listening to all the crazy sport-parent politics, I'm tired of listening to nutty parents who coach their children from the sidelines.  I'm tired of washing water bottles and uniforms and checking to make sure that child-packed bags contain the appropriate sport items.  I'm tired of the scheduling and the carpooling and the scrambling to find rides.  I'm tired of the long drives to remote places that I would never visit were it not for sports.

I'm ready for summer.  The kind of summer where the only matches I have to watch are between two of my forever-squabbling offspring over who had more guacamole or had the longest turn with The Good Boogie Board.

I'm in the midst of an official Sports Snit and I think the only remedy will be to go cold-turkey from sports for a month or two.

Alas.  Soccer season isn't over yet - and between them, our girls play on three soccer teams.  And lacrosse season isn't over yet either - another three teams there.  My cure for my sports breakdown will have to wait until July.  Right before sports camps begin.


Guymons said...

hahaaahahaaaa. Wait, is it mean to laugh at you!!!! Yes! Sorry! But your post is awesome and honest and hilarious.

I thought we had so much in common, too! But we dont because Bradley's team doesnt start games until August and I was just thinking that I hoped the coach would find them a July different! And, yesterday, just for fun, I watched a college lacrosse game on tv and I watched playoff hockey even though my teams are out! (not much though, it's just not the same) (and the lacrosse was weird, just a weird sport....if a player is fast, why dont they just out run everyone straight to the net and score...the whole time I watched I didnt see either goalie stop any balls!!!)

I'm sure you saw the sport parent blog going around all the internet that said "just tell your kids "I love to watch you play"...". Hope you told your kids that...and hide this blog post from them....hahaaaaaaaaaa.

But I understand all of what you wrote...the early mornings, cold weather, clean water bottles, laundry, annoying parents, politics...COST.... you need a break. I bet your kids do too! Have fun refereeing the boogie board!

Lisa Witherspoon said...

I seriously don't know how you juggle all those games and practices! My oldest is playing softball right now and her 7:00 or 8:00pm games on Tuesdays & Thursdays are killing me. Although, that might be beet than Saturday morning. :-) Hang in there! I can see the light at the end of the school year tunnel!

Martha said...

Diane - laugh away! I'm already feeling over my sports fit of yesterday. Like the pain of childbirth, freezing cold tournaments are easily forgotten. I'm a fickle sports fan, that's true. I'll probably be missing the activity when it's summer vacation and all three kids are at home, moaning about being bored!

Martha said...

Lisa - I don't! I'm terrible at juggling all these schedules and all these activities. Gordy is the Master Scheduler in our family and even then, I have to be told multiple times were to go and when! And have you noticed that all activities are now twice-a-week-practices? Plus the games and plus skills training? Whatever happened to once-a-week things? Just a few more weeks... good luck to you, too!

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